Scattering Ashes
by DarksAngeloftheNight
Summary: LaviXAllen, character death. Why had he waited so long, until it was too late?


Lavi Bookman Jr. wasn't suppose to have a heart. A heart that he could feel emotions with, or bonds. Yet, how had he fallen in love with Allen Walker, the Destroyer of Time? It was anyone's guess. He simply had. It certainly wasn't rocket science. He had fallen hard and fast for the boy. How could he not? Allen was a interesting kid. He always tried to save others, even if it meant damning himself. He was polite, yet that was just a mask. He was good at putting on masks that was for sure. But Lavi had been able to see right through it right away. Maybe it was because he wore a mask all the time himself? Well, Allen had figured out he wore a mask too, as soon as they met. Allen who had a sense of humor, Allen who was so kind, so selfless. All he wanted to do was save the souls of Akuma. Lavi really shouldn't have fallen for him, because then he wouldn't have had to feel the pain of losing his love. Allen had died in the final battle, but he made sure the Earl went with him. Lavi hadn't been the one to find Allen; it had been Miranda Lotto who had found him. She had to be constrained so that she wouldn't hurt herself. After all, Allen had been the first person to ever thank her, and she had really like the younger boy, as a younger brother of course. Lavi stared down at the coffin that held his loves dead body. He hadn't even been given the chance to confess his love, he had decided to do it after the final battle, sure that Allen was going to win and come back alive. What a lie. Lavi turned away from the coffin; he couldn't stand to watch them take the coffin away. Instead, he found himself wandering the halls for a while, before he found himself in front of Allen's room. Looking to each side before he placed a hand on the door knob and shoved it open. He stepped into the dark room, flipping the light on as he closed the door behind, locking it. He didn't want to be disturbed right now. He looked around. The boy's room still looked the same, as if any moment Allen would walk in. Lavi looked around. The bed was neat, and there were books on the shelves. There was one book that caught his attention though, since it was a plain black book, and it was sitting on Allen's desk with a pen by it. He sat himself at the desk, and opened the book to a random page.

May 1st,

Dear Journal, today I returned home from a mission. Lenalee and Lavi greeted me first. It's nice being able to come back to a home, and have someone waiting for you, isn't it? It was something I never really got to experience before, it still surprises me sometimes. But that's not really important. Lavi was hurt, his arm was in a cast, and he broke his arm on his last mission. He says he'll be better in no time, but I still worry about him, more than I probably should. He's a Bookman in training, and I'm an Exorcist who has devoted his time to saving the souls of Akuma. I can't betray my path. I know that, and I still can't help how I feel about him.

Lavi stared at the words before flipping through a couple more pages and reading a couple more entrées that made Lavi feel happy, yet sick at the same time. Allen had felt the same way about him? He flipped to the last entrée, which was made earlier that day.

August 27th,

Dear Lavi, if your reading this, I'm dead aren't I? I really should have confessed earlier, but for some reason I held back. So I decided to put it all on paper. I love you. And I'm sorry; I left before I got the chance to tell you. But I didn't want to burden you with my feelings that you probably don't even want. I want you to know, that being in the Order, with you and everyone else was the best time of my whole life. I had a lot of fun; it was nice to have a big family. I know you're a Bookman Lavi, and you're not allowed to have a 'heart' or any bonds. And it's your choice to be a Bookman Lavi, but isn't that life kind of lonely? To not have any real bonds? Well, it really isn't any of my business. It's your choice. I myself have never liked being alone. After Mana died, I realized just how much I needed him. And I began to think that saving Akuma was all I ever needed. Well, it wasn't enough for me. But I'm rambling now aren't I? Sorry. Anyways Lavi, please don't forget your years here at the Order, and please don't forget me. I do love you. I hope I can meet with you in a next life.

Love,

Allen Walker.

p.s. Tim is yours.

Lavi stared at the entrée. He lowered his head, and let the tears he was holding just fall. How could he have let Allen go off all on his own!? If he had been there, then maybe Allen would still be alive now? The heart he wasn't suppose to have hurt. He didn't want to live without his Allen! He picked up Allen's pen, and turned to the last page in the journal, and began to write.

August 27th,

Dear Allen, I know you can't read this, but I just wanted you to know. Even though I am a Bookman, I still fell in love with you. Pretty stupid of me huh? At least, that's what I use to think. But now that you're gone, I don't think it's stupid. I guess I really did have a heart after all? I want you to know that I love you too. And I'm glad I fell in love with you, I just regret not telling you right away. I wish I would have, but I was scared. A Bookman's not to have emotions, or bonds. Even if you had lived, and I had confessed, I still would have had to leave. Or give up the lonely, solitude path of being a Bookman. And I hope we can be together in our next life. I hope next time, I'll have the courage to confess to you next time. Instead of walking that lonely path for a moment longer, I've decided to join you, so who ever is reading this, I Lavi give up all titles of a Bookman. Panda-jiji, I'm sorry, but I don't think I was ever really cut out for being a Bookman. After all, I love Allen, so I've decided to follow him is all.

-Lavi

p.s. Lenalee, Timcampy is yours. And I'm sorry everyone.

When the boy was found, he was found with his face down on Allen's bed, the journal open by him. He had taken an over dose of pain pills. He had died sleeping on Allen's bed. The journal had been read, and both boys had been burned side by side together, their ashes mingling with each others as it was scattered high in to the wind.


End file.
